oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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