I accidentally burped into my bong.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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