I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
