We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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