I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
