in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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