after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
