Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
