2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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