Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
high people should be assigned attendants
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
