dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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