your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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