I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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