I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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