Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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