I cut my penus on the lid.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize