do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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