You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
