that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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