I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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