I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
