dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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