Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
