I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
