all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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