i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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