I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am naked and annoyed.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
