You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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