stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
