I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
