8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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