Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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