she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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