she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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