Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
