I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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