remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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