Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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