Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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