What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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