he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
