We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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