you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
