i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
