I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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