Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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