I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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