wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You're like the curious george of whores
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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