Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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