he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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