she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
