wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
