Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
