Pappa wants mamma naked
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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