Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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