I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
