um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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