oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
