i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
