this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
