So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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