you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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